Rito's Many Misfortunes
by ElfenbeinDaemon
Summary: A series of short stories featuring multiple pairings and multiple possible instances in the life of Rito :3 poor guy never gets a break. The first arc is Rito x Lala, and is of the handtotail incident. R&R please! -ElfenbeinDaemon IT HAS FINALLY BEEN UPDATED. I AM BACK!
1. Arc 1 Chapter 1

Rito's Many Misfortunes – Arch 1 – Chapter 1

Right now, Rito is lying in bed next to Lala. This really isn't all that unusual, seeing as she often sneaks into his bed during the night. However, this is unusual for three reasons. One, she has all her clothes on. Two, Rito agreed to her sleeping next to him. And three, Rito's hand is very firmly holding onto her tail. 'Now, how did this happen?' you might be wondering. Well, it all began that Saturday morning with yet another of Lala's incredible inventions…

"And this is my lab!" Lala announced proudly to Rito and Mikan, having led them through Rito's closet into a large white room.

"Lala, we knew that already. You've been here for a year already, jeez," Rito groaned in his usual tone of exasperation. One that had been carefully developed over the year and a little bit that Lala had been here. The addition of Lala's younger twin sisters had only served to perfect the already highly polished tone.

"Aw, but its fun to announce stuff!" Lala pouted at Rito, stretching her hands behind her back. Mikan just looked at the two and sighed. To her it was completely obvious that Rito was completely in love with Lala. He was just too stupid to realize it. At some point he would, and then any chance anyone else had with him would die. Well, except maybe Haruna Sairenji. Not that she cared, she thought with a quick blush.

"Hey Lala, what's that over there?" Mikan asked, pointing at what looked like a chair with several buttons on it and three cords hanging off of each of the armrests. Lala looked over at what she was pointing at and jumped in front of her, waving her arms frantically.

"That's nothing at all that you would find interesting! I-I promise!" She almost screamed, her suddenly very red face betraying her words. "Wh-why don't you look at the new version of Pyon-pyon warp-kun instead?" Lala pushed Mikan towards the other end of the room, where a strange rabbit-headed cylinder stood.

In the meantime, Rito had started poking around in a box of half-finished inventions. Knowing Lala, he thought, this is probably not a good idea. I mean, she's invented rockets that make nukes look like rocks. Noticing something, he reached into the box and pulled out what looked like a little magnet with legs. "Hey Lala! What is this?"

"Hmm?" the pink haired alien turned towards Rito, smiling widely. "Oh, that's one of my prototypes! It's not finished yet or particularly stable, so be careful with it!"

"Ah, okay then," he muttered, placing the thing back in the box. Just as he put it back into the space it had previously occupied, a small wire snaked out of the tip of one of the magnets prongs and tapped him on the hand. "GYAAAAAAAAAAA!" His scream of pain was matched by an immense electrical glow around his body, making his insides visible.

"Rito!" three panicked voices rang out, followed by a "What happened?!" a moment later from Lala. Momo and Nana had entered the lab just in time to witness Rito's electrocution. Momo ran over to Rito's charred form and knelt down next to him. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Can you see how many fingers I'm holding up?"

All of her frantic questioning was answered by a simple raised thumb and groan from Rito. Lala quickly came over and helped Rito stand up. "I'll take you to your room, okay Rito? I'm really sorry!" Momo and Nana stayed behind with Mikan, trying to find out just what had happened to Rito. Mikan herself was still poking around Lala's different inventions, calming herself down after what had happened.

Lala brought Rito into his room and helped him over to his bed. This isn't good, she thought worriedly, Rito always bounces right back! Now he's all burnt and he hasn't recovered at all! This time he might actually be seriously hurt! As she worried about him, she quickly tucked him in before sitting down on the bed next to him. "I'm sorry Rito, I really didn't want you to get hurt this badly. You normally are okay right after the explosion or whatever, but now…" she trailed off miserably.

"It's okay Lala, really. I'm fine. I just needed a few extra minutes that time, so don't worry so much." Rito's voice came from behind her, surprising her.

She whipped around, eyes bright and smiling hugely. "Really, Rito? You're okay? That's so awesome!" With a loud "yay" she pulled Rito into a tight hug that had his eyes popping out of his sockets.

"Y-yeah it is, but I need air!" he croaked out from her death grip. After she released him, he chuckled and rubbed his head ruefully. "Well then, let's get me out of here. I think I still have to go to the store and get more soy sauce."

"Okay, Rito!" Lala bounced off of the bed, and then started towards the door. Before she had gone two steps she suddenly stopped and began to shiver intensely. Without warning, she moaned and dropped to her knees.

"Lala! What's wrong?" Rito jumped out of his bed and moved towards her, looking worried.

"M-my tail, Rito! Y-you're h-holding my- Ah! Tail, Rito!" Lala stammered out, hugging herself tightly. "P-please let go!" she barely managed to gasp out.

"I-I'm so sorry! Of course I'll let go!" the teen said before trying to let of Lala's tail, which was clamped firmly in his right hand. His fingers uncurled, but his palm remained firmly stuck to her tail. "Heh?" he muttered, trying again. "Eh, Lala, I can't let go!"

"Wh-what do you mean, you can't let go?" Lala murmured weakly from the floor, where she lay shivering and moaning occasionally.

"My hand is stuck to your tail! I can move it up and down but that's it!" He demonstrated by moving his hand from the spade tip of her tail all the way up to its base at Lala's back and down again. This made Lala moan loudly and roll onto her back, staring at the ceiling with a glazed expression on her face, a bit of drool trickling out of the corner of her mouth.

"T-try not to move your hand then, Rito. I can't feel it if you don't move it…" Lala whispered shakily, blushing heavily.

"O-okay then," Rito stuttered nervously, offering Lala his left hand.

"Rito! We found the invention that you were messing with! Don't touch any-!" Momo shouted suddenly from Rito's closet. Noticing Lala's flushed face and heavy breathing she grinned at Rito and began to back off quickly. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything."

"No! Wait! We aren't doing anything!" Rito shouted, lunging after Momo and pulling Lala's tail again. She responded by moaning out his name loudly and arching her back.

"Nothing at all, eh?" Mikan commented, appearing behind Momo. "Are you sure about that, big bro?

"Yes! Dang it! I can't get my hand off of Lala's tail!" he shouted before falling to his knees dramatically. "I'm not doing anything on purpose!"

"Okay already, calm down. Jeez, you're so emotional…" Nana grumped at him, walking out from the lab with the magnet in her hand. "Anyway, this is the partially completed magnet thingy that Lala was working on. You got zapped with its magnetism, so don't touch anything with the hand that got zapped, or else you won't be able to remove your hand for about a day and a half."

Rito's only response was to hold up Lala's tail. Nana glared at him, Momo started to giggle, and Mikan all simply sighed and turned away. "Knowing my brother, I should have expected that."

"Yeah, probably," Rito admitted. "But seriously, why me?"

"Because I love you!" came Lala's exhausted reply from the floor behind him. Rito blushed furiously and turned around. He knelt next to her and helped her up, sighing as she slowly started to lose her glazed look. Noticing everyone staring at her, she cheerfully chirped, "What just happened?"

Rito fainted.

When he finally came to, he found himself lying on the floor with a very happy Lala contentedly drawing circles on his chest with her finger. To particularly enjoy her quality time with her husband, she had opted for the removal of all of her clothes.

"L-Lala! Dang it what the hell are you doing!?" Rito squeaked, scrambling backwards. Lala was about to answer when her face suddenly became twisted with pain and she let out a small cry. Rito immediately froze, and looking down at his right hand, saw that he had just bent Lala's tail at a very awkward angle. He immediately lifted his hand and straightened out her tail, trying to be as gentle as possible. "Lala! Are you okay? I'm so sorry!"

Lala smiled a little, blinking back tears. "It's okay Rito. I'll be fine." She tried to move her tail, and then winced. "But that really hurt."

"Are you sure Lala? I'm really, really, really sorry about hurting you!" Rito moved closer to her, trying to move his hand as little as possible.

"Yeah. I'm Devilukean, so I heal quickly anyways. And it's fine"

"O-okay then. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you then?

Lala grinned. "Yup! Be my husband!"

"Wh-what?! I-I'm not ready for that!"

"Awww! Please? Just for today?" Lala pouted at Rito, giving him a look that made any puppy fade into insignificance.

"O-okay then, Lala. J-just for today I'll be your…" Rito gulped around his huge blush, "h-husband." Lala stared at him for a few seconds, and then a grin spread across her face. She jumped up suddenly and let out a loud cheer.

"Hooray! Rito's my husband! I love you, Rito!" Her announcement was followed by a loud moan when she attempted to run out the door. Within seconds she was on the ground again, shivering and making small noises while Rito was lying flat on his face with his hand outstretched and still attached to Lala's tail.

"Lala, my hand's still stuck… and please put on some clothes…" Rito groaned from the floor.

"But Ritoo! It's so much more comfortable without them! And it's a wife's duty to make sure that her husband has many sons, right?"

Rito's face turned flaming red, steam erupting around the carpet where his face was buried. "Lala, where exactly did you get that information?"

"From this!" she announced happily, ignoring the fact that she was lying on the floor and crawled to Rito's prone form. Reaching him, she jabbed a book in his face. "I borrowed it from Mikan's room! It has lots of pictures of cool stuff, and it tells you everything you need to know about Japan's culture!" Rito looked at the title on the cover of the book; Everything You Wanted to Know About Ancient Japan: The Illustrated Edition. He sweatdropped and looked at Lala questioningly.

"Lala... This is a little outdated... There's no sacred duties of a wife today, I don't think..."

"Okay! Can we still have lots of kids? They're just too cute!" Lala cheerfully asked him. Rito just groaned and buried his face in his hands, accidentally causing Lala to gasp as his face squeezed her tail against his palm.

"S-sorry Lala! I need to get used to this..." The pink-haired girl's only reaction was to smile and pat him on the head, indicating through a rather complicated series of gestures that it would be okay, there would be time, and could she please have at least three children? At this point, Rito silently and desparately begged the sky to tell him why exactly this sort of thing **always** happened to **him!**


	2. Arc 1 Chapter 2

Let the fun begin! And please note that I own absolutely nothing. If I did, I'd be a much happier man, and would probably have too much fun with all the characters. I know that chapters from me are coming slowly, but I will not abandon these! They will be finished, and hopefully sooner than later. So, without further drama, lights, curtains, action!

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Rito's Many Misfortunes – Arch 1 – Chapter 2

_"S-sorry Lala! I need to get used to this..." The pink-haired girl's only reaction was to smile and pat him on the head, indicating through a rather complicated series of gestures that it would be okay, there would be time, and could she please have at least three children? At this point, Rito silently and desparately begged the sky to tell him why exactly this sort of thing __**always**__ happened to __**him!**_

There was nothing worse, Rito had managed to conclude, than walking around during the day with a hyperactive alien who happened to fall into fits of trembling and moaning whenever her tail was touched. Well, actually, there was a thing that could be worse than that. His hand could be stuck to her tail. Which had conveniently managed to happen that morning, as per the regulations of Rito's life.

After half an hour of lying on the floor with a nubile Lala trying to convince him to give her children, Rito had finally managed to convince her that putting clothes back on was the best course of action for the time being. With a familiar cry of "Pekke! Form Change!" Lala was set to go, or at least, presentable outside of his room.

"Lala, are you ready?" Rito asked, throwing a nervous grin at the pinkette happily bouncing up and down on his bed, making it a challenge to keep his hand from moving on her tail. Lala stopped bouncing on the bed and looked up at him with shining eyes before excitedly asking, "So you're ready for us to have kids too?"

"N-no! Lala, that's not what I meant!"

"Aww… well why'd you ask if I was ready then? And for what?

"Um, I don't know. It just seemed appropriate…"

Lala tilted her head to the side, thought undoubtedly deep thoughts for a moment, then tackled Rito to the floor with a glomp that would make whoever invented glomping proud. "Okay! Then I want two little girls!"

Rito slowly tried to stand, then sank down again, resting his back against the door. "L-Lala, that's not what I meant… I meant are you ready to go downstairs now? It's been at least an hour already. And I think I can smell lunch." Lala pouted for a moment, then reluctantly nodded and stood up. Rito sighed and gingerly let himself stand again, before holding open the door for Lala.

It took about point seven seconds for Lala to suddenly break into a giddy smile, grab Rito's hand, and bounce out of the room, down the stairs, and throw him onto the couch in the living room. How she managed to forget that his hand was still *ahem* attached was far beyond Rito's comprehension, but that she was on the ground in another fit of moaning was perfectly clear to anyone within earshot. And this included Mikan, Momo, Nana, and Yami, all of whom were sitting in the kitchen.

With three cries of "Rito! You pervert!" and one "I hate perverts…" the four sprinted into the living room to witness Lala drooling on the floor and Rito with his hand wrapped around her tail. The fact that Rito was lying on the couch in what appeared to be a very comfortable position didn't exactly help his case. Of course, Yami was the first to do something about it. Transforming her hair into a hammer, she knocked Rito off the couch and onto the floor next to Lala, who once again shivered as her tail was jerked. Sprouting blades, she glared at Rito. "Explain." The command was simple and to the point.

"Wait! Its not what it looks like! I swear!" Yami's silver blades pricked the skin of his throat. "This is not my fault! I can't get my hand loose!" To make his point, Rito opened his hand with the palm facing downward. As before, Lala's tail simply remained attached to the palm of his hand. A few moments later, Yami decided that it was okay. For now, at least.

"How did this happen?" she asked, almost freezing Rito with her tone. Her pointed look at Rito made it clear that there had better be a very, very good reason for this sort of ecchi business.

"U-um… I touched one of Lala's incomplete inventions. And then I got my hand stuck to her tail. It's probably going to stay that way for a day or so." Rito glumly explained. "It's not my fault. Well, mostly not my fault. I probably should've known not to go into Lala's lab in the first place…"

"Aw, Rito, you mean you don't like my laboratory?" Lala asked from beside him, disappointment evident in her voice. Rito paled.

"N-no no, I like it fine, I promise!"

"Then why wouldn't you want to go into it?" Rito sweatdropped.

"W-well, it seems like every time that I've gone into there, I seem to come out with some injury or some exotice, alien disease…"

"Oh…" Lala sighed, obviously depressed that her favorite room was a dangerous place for her future husband. Rito frowned. Despite the room being dangerous, it had led to numerous fun and enjoyable memories.

"Don't worry about that, Lala. It's just because I'm unlucky that I get hurt a lot." Smiling, he patted her on the head and ruffled her hair. Lala quickly gained a cherry-red blush (which was, in her case, an extremely unusual reaction, and was to be treasured in memory) and scooted herself over next to Rito, lightly snuggling into his side. Rito remained remarkably calm, and simply allowed himself to enjoy the moment.

"Um, if you two could get a room…" Both Lala and Rito jumped at the sudden comment from a very red-faced Yami, who was making a point of looking away from the two on the floor before her. Momo, Nana, and Mikan were all just as red. The two in question looked at each other and sheepishly rubbed their heads in apology.

"Ehehe… sorry…" Rito stood up, his usual nervous self again. "Did I smell lunch earlier?"

"Yes, you did, Rito," Mikan said, pointing back towards the kitchen table. "We were about to go get you anyways."

"Well that's good then. It smells delicious as usual, Mikan."

Mikan grinned at the usual praise. It made her feel valuable whenever Rito did that sort of thing. The group, now six people, moved over to the dining area. After a communal cry of "Itadakimasu!" everyone but Rito dug into the simple but well made lunch. Rito was having some trouble, namely that he was right handed. And the dang food kept falling out of his chopsticks. He even tried to stab it, all to no avail.

"Dang it!" Rito poked his food with one chopstick, frustrated at his inability to eat. "I can't get this at all!"

"Get what, Rito?" Lala leaned over from her spot next to him at the table. Rito poked his food again. "You're right-handed? I didn't know that!" Rito sweatdropped.

"I-it's been over a year now..." With a sudden sense of foreboding, Rito muttered, "I can't pick up any of my food." Lala tilted her head a little, then grinned at him.

"I'll feed you then!" Without giving Rito a chance to respond, Lala picked up a square of tofu and held it out to Rito. "Say ah!"

"But Lala... Th-this is embarrassing..."

"Say ah!"

"L-lala I rea-!"

"Say ah!"

"F-fine then..." Reluctantly, Rito opened his mouth and allowed Lala to feed him the tofu. It was delicious, and oddly enough, Rito could swear that there was a slightly unusual tang to the food. As he chewed and swallowed, he became aware of the snickers of those around him. Momo, Nana, and Mikan had all been expected, but even Yami was struggling to keep her placid expression straight.

Despite the audience, Lala managed to feed Rito his entire lunch. It took an unusually long time, but it couldn't be helped. Of course, by the end of everything, Rito's face had taken on a hue that would make a firetruck proud. In no shape to do anything at all, Rito slumped back in his chair. The kitchen table, once filled with people, was now thankfully, blessedly devoid of people, excluding Lala.

"Thank you... I think..." He quietly managed to groan. This was definitely the most stressful meal he had ever had. Lala grinned at him, somehow maintaining the constant and ever-cheerful enthusiasm.

"You're welcome! It was fun feeding my future husband!" Standing suddenly, she bounced around the table, circling Rito. Rito stared at her in a somewhat amused manner. How she had so much energy would always be a mystery. Another mystery became apparent moments later.

Lala bounced farther away from Rito than she should have, and immediately became a moaning mound on the floor. Rito sighed and picked himself off the the floor, having fallen off the chair when Lala tried to move to far away.

"Lala, please try to remember that we're um... attached to each other for now..." The only answer he got was a whimper from Lala. With yet another sigh he noticed that Lala had crawled back up to him and was giving him some of the most adorable puppy eyes that this world had seen. "Alright alright... What do you want to do now?"

Rito had been expecting a request to do something, anything. The absolute last thing he had thought might happen was that Lala blushed lightly, looked nervously at the ceiling, and poke her index fingers together. "Um... I-I k-kinda need to go to... to the bathroom..." The request barely came out as a tense whisper.

Rito paled, then paled further when his bladder decided to give him a kick as well. "R-right, that's perfectly reasonable. S-so then, l-lets go..." Cautiously, he stretched a hand out to Lala, who took it and pulled herself up before timidly shuffling down the hall towards the accursed room of bodily relief.

The journey to the bathroom was barely a five second walk from the kitchen table, but it seemed an endless odyssey. When Lala could finally place her hand on the doorknob, time snapped back to the normal rate of passing. Lala's blush increased considerably, and Rito could actually feel her hand trembling in his. This NEVER happened to Lala. She was always energetic, unashamed, and way, way to comfortable around Rito while naked. However, now that Rito was forced to actually think about it, right now, Lala was very, very cute. Too cute for his comfort.

"Absolutely n-no peeking, alright?" Lala's voice left her body the same way a small bird would flutter away after being startled. That is to say, her voice sounded unsure, frightened, and skittish.

"O-of course not!" Rito stuttered out, before quickly facing away from the bathroom. Lala nodded, then closed the door behind her as much as possible. With a start, Rito became aware of the ruffling coming from the bathroom. _She's actually naked in there! She's... She's... _Rito shook his head, then started humming loudly to cover up the sounds of Lala relieving herself. _Of course she's naked, she's going to the bathroom. IDIOT,_ Rito berated himself. _No ecchi thoughts, no ecchi thoughts, not now, anyway... Must... keep... thoughts... PG-13... don't think about the incredibly cute girl that has chosen you as her fiance and is in an incredibly vulnerable state at the moment, don't even- !_

A tap on his shoulder dragged Rito out of his thoughts and caused him to jump back with a girly scream. Jumping back also caused his hand to stroke Lala's tail, leading her to fall forward onto him in an unavoidably sexual way. A few seconds of Lala breathing heavily allowed Rito to temporarily regain his scrambled wits. He stood abruptly, helping Lala up as he did so.

"I-I'm done..." Lala said shakily, then grinned as if nothing had happened. Rito groaned. Her grin meant she was back to normal. And that meant he would have to deal with all two hundred and seven percent energy output.

"Right." Rito edged toward the bathroom door. "I... I kinda have to go too... um... yeah..." He slipped into the bathroom, closing the door softly. He reached for his fly, only to realize that the hand he'd usually use was blocked by her tail. Rito started to move his left hand to do the job, when Lala's tail twitched unexpectedly, brushing against his leg. After a second of hesitation, Rito unzipped his fly. Lala's tail twitched again, this time reaching his left hand and brushing against it. Rito froze again.

With an incredulous look, he tried again to move his hand. Again, Lala's tail impeded its movement. Rito frowned slightly. He tried again. Same result. Except this time, her tail moved to caress his pants in a definitely not timid or shy manner. Rito growled lightly. He tried moving again, then What followed was a ten minute long battle of Rito's hand vs. Lala's tail, and was ended when Rito held his right hand above his head, squeezing and pulling on Lala's tail and eliciting a loud moan and thud from the the hallway behind him. With a victorious smirk, Rito finished his business and returned to the hallway. Lala was leaning against the wall next to the door, grinning innocently at Rito.

"What took you so long?" Rito looked pointedly at Lala.

"As if you don't know..." Lala didn't even bat an eye. Instead, she opted to hang on to Rito's arm and pull him into the main room, where Mikan and the twins were watching TV with Celine. Lala hugged Rito, then plopped herself down on the couch.

"Rito! It's Magical Girl Kyoko! Come watch with me!" Lala shouted excitedly. A quick jerk of her tail brought Rito crashing into the sofa, his face shoved deep into her lap. Momo grinned devilishly at Rito, scooting from her seat next Mikan to the other side of Rito.

"How forward of you..." She purred and contentedly groped Rito's buttocks.

"Hey! Cut that out!" Rito growled, righting himself to sit on the couch, this time in a proper position.

For a while (to be exact, the duration of the one episode of Magical Girl Kyoko), the truce was held. Mikan, Celine, and Nana left after the show, but Momo and Lala stayed on the couch, sandwiching Rito between them.

The second that the last of the others had left, Momo grinned at Rito in a manner that made him feel rather like a piece of meat in front of a starved animal. Probably some large hunting cat, thought Rito, before realizing that the thing poking the borderline of his pants was definitely NOT attached to himself. Momo licked her lips and gently rubbed herself against Rito's arm. He was still slightly surprised to notice that it was her hand that was strafing the waistband of his jeans. On his other side, Lala was meekly leaning onto him, resting her head on his shoulder in an unusual moment of calmness. However, her tail was coiling itself around his arm. Rito could almost swear she was purring.

Turning to his left, Rito gave Momo an annoyed look. "Momo... What are you doing?"

"Oh nothing, nothing,... I just want my daily dose of zinc..." Rito looked puzzled.

"What?" Instead of answering in words, Momo held her hand in front of her mouth and preformed a very crude impression of someone choking on something... else... In any case, Rito immediately turned tomato red and sunk into the couch cushions. Strangely enough, it was Lala who objected to the motions that her sister was performing.

"Momo! Cut that out! Today, Rito is _my _husband!" Momo and Rito were shocked. They had never, ever heard Lala actually sound angry. Sure, there were times when she had been annoyed, but never actually angry. "He is mine today, so you go off somewhere now and leave us be. At least, until it's your turn." Lala growled.

"Okay okay, I get it already..." Momo muttered. Giving one last wink to Rito, she sauntered out of the room, probably to go find her twin and Mikan. Rito stared at Lala, quite impressed.

"Lala, I had no idea you had that in you..."

"I don't normally, but then again..." Lala resumed her usual happiness and enthusiasm. "Today you're my husband!"

Rito nodded and sighed. "I should have expected that answer..."

Lala grinned at him, then gave him a hug. "Yep." With that, she snuggled into his side and once again purred in contentment. Rito was tempted to run away again, but considering that he had Lala's tail coiled around his right arm, and that the position he was in was really, really comfy, he decided that staying in place was definitely the best option. And so, he let himself lean against the beautiful alien at his side.

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There! Another chapter finally done! The next should definitely be the last of this particular arc, and will probably be a lemon. The next arc is up to you guys! I'll write whichever character is asked for, and if not, the next up is Yami. Also, apologies for any OoCness, I couldn't resist the temptation. Please review! It helps me loads!


	3. Arc 1 Chapter 3

**Chapter 2: Arc 1 Part 3**

Finally, the last arc! Good god, it's actually been four years. I am really sorry; life has gotten in the way. But, now I'm finally back, and I hope to be working on these a lot more often! Of course, I said that then too, so sadly, no promises. ^^;; But, now that I have this, hooray!

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Arc 1 - Chapter 3

_Lala grinned at him, then gave him a hug. "Yep." With that, she snuggled into his side and once again purred in contentment. Rito was tempted to run away again, but considering that he had Lala's tail coiled around his right arm, and that the position he was in was really, really comfy, he decided that staying in place was definitely the best option. And so, he let himself lean against the beautiful alien at his side._

Oddly enough, they were not interrupted within the first twenty seconds of close contact. Even more unusual was that they had made it to the five-minute mark without anything actually happening to them. It was at this point that Rito stopped being acutely aware of his surroundings and slowly, slowly began to relax. Of course, that is not to say he was any less nervous being next to the girl who seemed absolutely set on becoming his bride.

_Despite her ditzy and innocent demeanor, Lala's really something,_ thought Rito, the corners of his lips twitching upwards. _She's kind, caring, looks out for everyone around her, and really is very sweet, if oblivious at times. Not to mention that she's brilliant. I can't believe that she manages to invent the things she does. I couldn't even begin to understand the mechanics behind half of the stuff she's made. Not to mention, how the hell does she manage to compress these things to wrist-watch size? _Rito shook his head. Wondering how the hell Lala's inventions worked was not something to worry about now. He glanced to his side and saw that Lala had a rather glazed look in her eyes, staring off into the distance.

The twitch at the corner of his lips extended into a small smile as he watched Lala contentedly stare at nothing. The tip of her spade-shaped tail flicked back and forth in a surprisingly cat-like manner. Rito's smile vanished into a furrowed brow of concentration as he remembered what exactly Lala had done with said tail earlier. _I really wasn't expecting her to do something so... sexual. She comes off as really innocent. Though... is she really? Or not so much? She certainly seems to be innocent to the point that she can walk around a stranger's house in the nude without feeling the slightest bit of discomfort, but then again… that whole thing while I was trying to go to the bathroom earlier… What in the wo-, no galax- universe am I up against?_

"Heh…" Rito let out a fizzled sigh and swung his gaze to Lala, meeting her bright green eyes looking up at him hopefully. Lala's tail tightened around his arm.

"Rito…" Lala grinned up at him. "I have a question!" She bounced in place, rubbing her breasts up and down his arm in what seemed to be a very _deliberate_ manner. He dragged his eyes up from her tantalizing assets and just caught the tail-end of a smirk vanishing into a bright-eyed, innocent grin.

"Wh-what is it?" Lala's tail, which was coiled around Rito's arm, suddenly tightened its grip, rippling along his arm. She stared deeply into Rito's eyes, and he found himself barely able to look away. She leaned in close, pressing her chest against Rito. Slowly, she pulled herself up, closer to his face, dragging her assets up his torso, again in what seemed to be a _very deliberate _manner. She stopped only when the moisture of her breath could be felt on his neck. Rito, with cheeks red as a ripe tomato, attempted to sink deeper into the couch hoping to eventually escape this anxiety by molecularly melding into the fabric pressing on his back. Time stopped for a moment, and Rito could hear the sound of his own heart pounding in his head. _Why am I so flustered? Lala being close to me isn't new! Heck, I had a more intimate entanglement this morning! So why do I feel like my heart is about to explode out of my chest right now!?_

It was at that moment that Rito's conscience snapped back into place, and he took another look at the beautiful Devilukean Princess now gazing longingly into his eyes. With cheeks slightly flushed and tail nervously squirming around his arm, Lala mouthed a question that almost sent poor Rito into the next life. It was so simple, yet held so much weight. Seeing that Rito was on the verge of an anxiety attack, it was no surprise that her inquiry was the feather that broke the camel's back. More quiet than a whisper, yet more assertive than the last time, Lala shakily asked, "Do you love me, Rito-kun?" Rito froze. He had been told the she loved him, she had told him that she loved him, but she had never directly asked him _that_ question.

His heart racing, Rito desperately searched inside himself for the answer. _Do I love her? How do I tell? I know I like her! And it's true that she's cute and wonderful and makes the most wonderful moaning noises if you twist her tai- Gah! No distraction! Do I love her? I don't know! What about Haruna!? What the hell am I supposed to do?! _His face steadily became more flushed, and steam might as well have begun drifting out of the top of his head.

"Ritooooo," Lala lightly whispered into his ear. "P-please answer me…" As her voice trailed off, he felt her breath against his ear. A wet, smooth thing touched the tip of his ear. _H-her tongue?!_ This was just too much.

"I-I'm not ready to answer this sort of thing!" he managed to squeak before his eyes rolled back and he passed out. Lala pouted.

"Aww, sorry! I was just teasing you a little… Um, are you okay, Rito? Hello? Anyone home?" She grinned down at his unconscious body, tapping his forehead with her knuckle. " He really is adorable when he gets flustered like that," she mused. Her eyes seemed to lose focus as she became lost in her own, hopefully innocent, fantasy. Snapping out of it, she shook her head. "Whoops, I need to stop letting Momo rub off on me. Oh well. I get to cuddle Rito now!" With that, she settled herself on his unconscious lap. Unbeknownst to her, a certain someone was watching the display with a lecherous grin.

"So, I'm rubbing off on you, am I?" Momo smirked from the doorway, her tail flicking back and forth behind her. She entered the room and sauntered towards the couch where Lala and Rito were seated. "Well, I guess you aaare being pretty forward today... Apparently too forward for Rito." She chuckled and placed her hand on Rito's forehead, doing her best to get away with touching Rito without inciting her sister's wrath.

As the pale shell of a boy so recently having lost consciousness lay clutched in her arms, Lala turned with a start to see her sister back again. She had warned Momo that this was her time with Rito. But now, she was honestly embarrassed to have been caught in the act of teasing. Of course, she would never let Momo see her enjoying this guilty pleasure, so she settled for the next best thing. Act like she had no idea what was Momo was implying, and shift the blame to someone who seemed more likely to cause this sort of thing. After all, she had an image to keep up.

Lala perked up and looked over at Momo. "Ah, what's wrong with Rito-kun? Did you do something to him while we were watching the show?" Lala stared pointedly her younger sibling.

"Lala, I was just asking you a question, and I just watched you feel up Rito," Momo pouted at her elder sister.

Lala's eyes opened in wonder. "Eh? Really? I didn't hear anything at all! Are you sure you aren't imagining things?"

"I was just talking to you."

"No you weren't."

"Yes I was."

"Nope."

"Yes."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Momo stared at her sister incredulously. When had she become so devious? Though, then again, she had managed to come up with many more shenanigans than Nana or herself ever had, even combined. Not to mention that if anyone was going to believe Rito fainted because of the advances of one of the Deviluke sisters, Momo knew she'd be the first suspect. "And it had better stay that way," she mumbled under her breath.

"Fine, you win this round." Momo sulked away, wandering out of the room again. Content with her victory, Lala made herself comfortable on the sofa again and passed the time until her next meal enjoying the 'willing' time spent in close proximity to her Rito.

As all things must come to an end, Rito eventually was brought back to consciousness via a sharp whack on the head with a wooden ladle. Mikan, the deliverer of such swift justice, in her opinion anyways, stood over him and regarded him with a cool stare. "Dinner is ready."

Rito groaned and rubbed his head with his free hand. "Ow..." It took him a minute, but his brain eventually processed the words that his sister had just uttered. He smiled up at her gratefully. "Thanks, Mikan. Sorry to ha-" His statement came to a quick halt as he was flung forward into Mikan, driving them both to the ground in yet another compromising position, his face less than an inch from hers and his hand holding something that was soft, supple, and very, very inappropriate.

From the ground ahead and a little to the left of Rito, a mushy pile of Lala was making some very inappropriate noises as she had, once again, forgotten about the predicament that she and Rito were in that day. With the promise of food so close at hand, she had immediately bounced up, off the couch to twirl around and wake up Rito, though Mikan beat her to it, and ended up having Rito tug on her extremely sensitive tail. Lala being Lala immediately fell at the worst possible angle, and dragged Rito into his poor, innocent sister.

Which meant that said poor, innocent sister's thoughts were rapidly becoming not so innocent as her face heated up under her brother. To her relief, Rito jumped up quickly and helped her to her feet.

"S-sorry about that. I didn't mean to!" He apologized quickly and sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. Out of nervous habit, he did this with his right hand, eliciting another couple of stammering moans from Lala behind him as her tail was rubbed against Rito's hair.

Mikan had been about to accept his apology, but at Lala's moans, she opted to wave off the apology instead. "The food will get cold." Rito sighed as his good intentions once again did nothing against the wave of misfortune that seemed to follow wherever he went.

"Oh well," he muttered. "Lala, need some help?" He offered the pink-haired girl laying splayed on the ground a hand, blushing as he did his best to ignore her flushed face, heavy breathing and the drool collecting at the corner of her mouth. Lala, not trusting herself with words at the moment, happily accepted and took the offered hand. She grinned at Rito, and didn't bother letting go of his hand. Rito decided against flailing around anymore and instead allowed himself to be led to the dinner table.

With tears of joy in his eyes, he saw that dinner consisted of finger foods. He looked at Mikan and smiled, hoping that he could convey his gratitude without making a scene. Her nod and smirk confirmed that he had indeed gotten his message across. Thankfully, the evening's meal went by without any major event. All present company happily made conversation and somehow managed to avoid awkward subjects, although Rito noticed that he was drawing quite a few stares in his direction.

The meal was finished in record time, and somehow Rito managed to coordinate his movements well enough with Lala's to help clean up after the meal. It was rare that the pseudo-couple ever managed to coordinate anything, but with his overly responsible little sister observing everything, there was too much pressure on the alien princess for her to cause any trouble. Naturally, this wouldn't last long, considering the nature of Rito's life and apparent inability to escape awkward situations. _It was nice while it lasted though_, Rito thought to himself as he carefully put away the dishes Lala was drying for him.

It was only after the cleanup that he noticed the presence of extra company. Yami stood in the doorway to the kitchen, observing him with her usual blank stare. Mikan smiled and turned to her.

"So you're going to spend the night after all?" Mikan's enthusiasm was infectious, and Rito could help but half-smile at his little sister's delighted expression.

Yami replied with her usual deadpan voice. "Yes. I had… fun last time. And I will make sure there is no ecchi business, Yuuki Rito." Her blank expression pierced Rito, and he nervously chuckled.

"H-hey there, I swear it's not on purpose! I didn't mean to get my hand stuck!" Yami simply continued to stare at him, unnerving him completely. Thankfully, Mikan decided to step in and break the stalemate.

"Hey, let's go upstairs to my room. I have some things I want to show you!" She stepped forward and grabbed Yami's hand, leading her away and up the stairs, happily chatting with her best friend. Yami didn't resist, and listened to Mikan's chatter.

Rito and Lala watched them go, a small, grateful smile on Rito's face. _Thank goodness for Mikan. She manages to do so much. I really, really need to thank her properly for all she does some time soon. That situation could have ended really awkwardly, with my lu-_ His train of thought was abruptly cut off by Lala's breasts pushing against his arm.

"Ritoooo! Can we go do something?" Lala whined at him and pouted cutely. Too cutely. "I want to have fun with you!" Her pout was quickly turning into a cheshire cat grin. One that was quite frightening to poor innocent Rito.

"Um… sure, why not?" Rito answered and smiled nervously. "What do you want to do?"

Lala grinned and hopped in place. "I built a game! I really want to play it with you!" Her eyes were shimmering with joy and childlike excitement. Rito relaxed and grinned back at her.

"Sure! I'm curious to see what kind of game you built," he acquiesced to Lala's delight. Without a second thought, she sprinted out of the kitchen. Or she would have, if she hadn't been attached to Rito by one of the most sensitive parts of her body. As such, Rito ended up with his face buried in Lala's behind and Lala moaning and squirming underneath him.

"I hate ecchi," a familiarly emotionless voice sounded.

Righting himself with a sigh, Rito noted the blades and maces hovering above his head, accompanied by the angry glare of a certain assassin. "Oh why me…?" he muttered before his cranium was introduced to the variety of blunt medieval weaponry Yami transformed herself into.

When he woke up, he found himself in Lala's lab, sitting in a surprisingly comfortable chair with a built-in desk and joystick. After shaking the black dots from his vision and checking to see that his skull was still intact, albeit covered in lumps, he took in his surroundings. Lala was sitting in a similar chair to his, placed directly next to his, allowing them to sit without her tail being jerked on. She smiled sheepishly at him.

"Whoopsies, I forgot again…," she apologized, then held out a pair of glasses.

Rito smiled and waved off her apology. "Don't worry about it. What are these?"

"The game! Put them on, you'll see!" Lala bounced in her seat excitedly. _Cute_, thought Rito.

"A-alright then," he said, then hesitantly placed the glasses on his face. Immediately, they adjusted to fit head, then folded out to create a helmet covering his entire head. After a moment of darkness, Rito found himself standing on a platform inside what appeared to be a gigantic spaceship. He looked around in awe, dazzled by the sight of a beautiful planet outside of a gigantic window. Rito was so engrossed in the view that he neither heard nor noticed Lala behind him until she touched his shoulder, making him jump.

She was smiling giddily at him, clearly pleased at his amazement. "So, do you like it?" She bounced up and down on the balls of her feet, grinning.

Rito could only nod as he stared at the interior of the grandiose area. "What? How? Where are we?"

"In my father's flagship. My home!" Lala answered, more than happy to explain. "I made a virtual model of daddy's spaceship. Come on, let me show you around!" Rito didn't get a chance to reply, being dragged off before he could say anything.

The next several hours were spent exploring the insides of the gigantic virtual structure Lala had created. Rito could barely comprehend the genius that this bubbly scatterbrained girl possessed, and found it incredulous that of all people, he was the one that she had decided to pursue. The moment this thought crossed his mind, he blushed furiously and shook his head. _Snap out of it, Yuuki!_

"And this is where we'd all sleep!" Lala interrupted his musing, once again. Rito looked to her, confused.

"Huh, what?"

"Where we'll all sleep together when we're married! You and me and Haruna and Yui and Yami-chan and-"

"Wait, WHAT!?" Rito started. "I didn't know there was anyone else involved! At all!"

Lala laughed and grinned at Rito. "Well, when I was reprogramming my rooms, I guess I got a little carried away…" She blushed lightly and poked her index fingers together. "And I guess Momo's suggestions didn't help anything either…"

Rito groaned. _Of course Momo would have something to with it. She's been getting more and more… indecent, as Yui would say. Though, polygamy is… not something I've heard before. Actually, I haven't even considered it once. Why am I being so calm about this? _

The realization hit Rito like a ton of bricks in the back of an unruly truck. "EVERYBODY MARRY ME?! WHAT?!" Eyes wide as saucers and jaw on the floor, he stared at Lala.

"Yep! That way everyone would be happy!" Lala grinned at him.

"BUT THAT'S NOT ALLOWED AT ALL!"

"Well, once you're King of the Universe, Earth rules wouldn't apply at all!" she smiled softly at him. "Papa has plenty of concubines! Mama says that Papa's way too much for any one person to handle."

Rito deadpanned. That was certainly true. Gid was, if nothing else, one hell of a handful. He groaned. Then, another realization hit him. "HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE SAIRENJI?!" His brain processed what he had just shouted. "I mean, how- Why did you think I like any of them?!" Lala just grinned at him.

"You're so nice to everyone, and I don't want to leave anyone behind! As much as I love Rito, I don't want to take you away from the people you love!" Rito stood in stunned silence.

"B-but…" he mumbled, trying to comprehend what was being suggested to him. _Lala loves me. I certainly like her. I've loved Haruna for years, but I'm feeling more and more for the both of them by the day. Yui is… Yami is also… And Lala wants me to marry more than one? And that means that she figured out I like Haruna? And, and, and… _It was too much for him to take. "Whaaaaaaaaaat?"

"Well, you're my husband today! And, since after all, we'll all be living together, it makes sense to show you our rooms, right?" Lala smiled innocently at him. For the umpteenth time that day, Rito was overwhelmed by the events and fainted dead away.

Some time later, Rito awoke, this time finding himself on a loveseat levitating a foot off the floor with Lala contentedly curled up against him. Memories of their most recent conversation flooded his mind, causing (approximately ninety percent of) the blood in his body to rush to his face. He moaned quietly, head aching from the influx of information.

Lala stirred next to him. "Hey! You woke up! I got worried when you fell asleep all of a sudden!" Rito's forehead met his palm. _Dear god is she oblivious sometimes._ "You must be really tired. It is almost midnight already."

Rito looked up at the digital display of Lala's self-made clock. It really was getting late, and he could feel the fatigue settling into his muscles. He nodded at Lala. "Y-yeah, bed, right. That's not a bad idea." Without thinking, he stood and walked towards the door, only to turn beet red and stand still when he heard a familiar moan behind him, followed by a thump and a quiet 'oh, Ritoooo, my taiiiiiil…'.

"S-sorry!" he squeaked, turning around and helping up the puddle of goo Lala had become. She just grinned at him with a dazed expression, face lightly flushed. _Oh dear god is she adorable. No, BAD Rito, BAD!_ Rito shook his head and guided her to his room. Considering she was there most mornings anyways, he really didn't think too much of it. It might also have helped that he was barely conscious.

This state of his was abruptly changed when Lala quickly disrobed. "Whaa!" his cry of alarm caused her to turn to him, completely oblivious of the effect her body was having on the poor boy.

"What is it, Rito?" she asked innocently, tilting her head in a way that Rito could only describe as ridiculously cute. _No, dammit! BAD RITO!_ He shook his head again, dizzying himself.

"Lala, you need to wear pajamas," he stated, covering his eyes with his free hand. "Please?" Rito asked after a short pause, much softer this time. Lala had been about to protest, but at his gentle request, she pouted and complied.

And so, a clothed Lala lay next to a nervous wreck of a Rito, winding up in the position described in the first chapter.

Laying in the darkness together, the pair remained silent, adding to the oddity of the situation. Both were reflecting heavily on the day's unusual, even by Rito's standards, events, judging by the light blush and small smile on Lala's usually exuberant face, as well as Rito's shell-shocked, beet red expression. Neither knew exactly how long had passed, but their musings went uninterrupted by any suspicious siblings, on either side. Rito felt his eyes slowly begin to drift shut, and had almost fallen asleep when he felt a shift at his side.

Turning his head, he saw Lala looking up at him, looking strangely pensive and reserved. He raised his eyebrows, confused. As he opened his mouth to ask her if she was alright, she placed a finger on his lips, stopping him.

"Rito…, do I trouble you?" Lala's quiet question stunned him. She sure as hell caused trouble, but that didn't mean she troubled him. Lala took his continued silence as affirmation, and Rito was more startled by the tears that began to form in her eyes. "I'm sorry…" she mumbled, barely whispering.

"N-no, wait!" Lala blinked a few times. "Y-you don't trouble me. At all, really!" Rito placed his unoccupied hand on her shoulder. "M-my life was pretty lame before you came," he said, smiling lightly. "It was just me and Mikan, living on our own. Then you came, and all sorts of things happened," he continued, quietly. "I met you and your sisters, Run, Yami, and became closer with Kotegawa and Sairenji. It's been chaotic, but it's been fun. I wouldn't change a thing. Not for anything."

Rito looked down to see Lala's face, now once again her happy self. "I'm so glad you think so, Rito!" Her smile was contagious, because it had spread to his face as well. He nodded, but before he could say anything, Lala was looking at him intently, a light blush dusting her cheeks. "S-say, Rito?"

_Oh god. She's stammering. And blushing. This never happens! _"Y-yes?" Rito managed to choke out, steam practically venting from his ears, and yet another blush rising into his face.

"S-since you're my husband for today, c-can we do one th-thing?" Rito gulped, then slowly nodded. Then, suddenly, his face was in her hands and her nose was almost touching his. And then her lips were touching his. And Rito's world exploded.

Soft, and smooth. A fragrance that he just knew would haunt his waking and sleeping hours alike. The face of an angel, surreally close to his own. His heart hammering in his chest, threatening to burst. The feeling of her body pressed lightly against his, and then her breath across his lips.

Despite all the sensations, the kiss had only lasted a few brief moments. But time hadn't started moving again for Rito. No, time became slower as every memory of Lala he had rushed through his mind. The day they met, her declaration of marriage, her defending him, supporting him, trying her hardest. Every invention, every trial, every morning she woke up in his bed. Faster and faster, images and emotions flooded through him, leaving him dazed and his heart pounding in the aftermath and absolutely certain of one fact.

Slowly, Rito sat up. Lala hesitantly looked up, clearly afraid of his rejection. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her, careful to keep her tail from being stimulated too much, lifting her to lean against him. His boldness surprised himself as well as Lala, whose mouth had formed a simple 'o'. Gently, he pulled her closer to him.

"...Lala, earlier today, you asked me a question." She nodded slowly, unsure of what was coming. "I have an answer. I-I'm sorry it took me s-something like this to realize it, a-and I'm really sorry that I've put you through so much." Lala tilted her head, confused.

"But-" Rito smiled and put a finger to her lips, stopping her denial of his apology.

Lala looked very confused. "Lala, I l-love you," Rito said, barely stammering on the word that had caused him so much trouble over the time spent with the alien girl.

It took Lala a second to register what she had just heard. But the moment she did, a smile spread across her face and she began to bounce in his arms. With a squeal, she launched herself at Rito.

"Really? Really really!? You mean it?" Rito, though now sure of his feelings towards the beautiful girl who had literally warped into his life a year ago, was still quite weak to her feminine charms. As such, he turned beet red and struggled to keep his composure.

"Y-yeah. I-I do!" Lala let out another squeal and buried her face into his neck, wrapping her arms around him.

"So that means I can be more affectionate now?" Rito blanched. Her… exuberance was something he loved about her, to be sure, but even more…?

"Uh, I-I s-suppose, b-but we should r-really take it slow?" Lala nodded happily.

"Okay!" He smiled at her jubilant response. Lala moved back a little, and contentedly snuggled into his side. Rito jumped a little, but slowly relaxed and observed the exotic alien laying next to him. "Rito?" her voice called, suddenly heavy and sleepy. "About.. damn time.." Lala's voice trailed off into incredibly soft snoring.

Rito shook his head, then lay back and stared at the ceiling. _I suppose, it really was, wasn't it? _A smile slowly crept across his face. "I love her," he murmured quietly, looking reaching his right hand up to the ceiling. _Oh? Her tail isn't attached anymore! But… I'm not moving._ With that final thought, Rito fell asleep, entirely unaware of the girl with the golden hair keeping watch from the doorway.

* * *

**Heyo! Thank you so so much to everyone who has read and reviewed and been so helpful and supportive. It has meant a lot to me. I got out of writing four years ago following the death of my grandfather. Thanks to the continued reviews and encouragement, I started writing again with the help of a close friend. So, thank you so very much. I promise this story has not been forgotten. I will continue. And even if it's slow, it will happen. Also, next arc will be Yami by popular demand over the past four years. Then Momo, then Yui. And, more likely than not, everybody else in the series too. **

**Also, apologies to anyone too upset with the deviation from cannon. Momo came up with the harem plan a little early, which she hasn't officially formulated yet. I will also implement the characters of To Love-Ru Darkness - introducing them earlier than expected and all. It may even play a part in how and when the confessions fall into place. For example, when he saves Lala and Haruna, rather than him choosing to save both, it might be to **_**accept**_** both. Hell, I have no idea yet. The more feedback I get, the better I can make the story! Thanks! **

**-ElfenbeinDaemon**


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